I sat down for coffee with a mentor of mine the other morning to seek advice and insight about a situation that’s been challenging me for a while.

I really enjoyed our time together, and our conversation certainly provided food for thought, and gave me some clarity about what to do next. I felt really good. I was ready to take action.

Our meeting got me to thinking about mentoring relationships, their importance to personal and professional growth, and specifically, what makes these relationships thrive. Clearly a great (and willing) mentor is critical, but the mentee makes all the difference.

I came up with Three Keys To Being A Great Mentee:

1. Respect - Mentors, by definition, are established in their careers and have high demands on their time. Therefore, you must be considerate of their time. Return phone calls and emails promptly. When setting meetings, arrive early and stop immediately after the allotted time is up. Let your mentor suggest extending the meeting.
2. Listen, listen, listen - Remember that when you meet with your mentor, you are there to learn. The only way to learn is to listen. Listen to your mentor, take diligent notes, ask clarifying questions, and listen some more.
3. Act - Once you’ve received advice and counsel from your mentor, it is imperative that you act on his/her suggestions. If you are unable to implement them, let your mentor know why (during your next conversation), but do not ignore them. No mentor will continue to offer advice that falls on deaf ears and is not acted upon or, at the very least, considerately acknowledged; it’s a waste of everyone’s time. Moreover, share your successes with your mentor - press/media coverage, milestones achieved, awards received. Much of the reward for a mentor is seeing your mentee succeed as a result of your counsel.

What did I miss? Have you had successful mentoring relationships? To what do you attribute that success? Or, if you’ve had one that failed, why? Let me know.