Think of the most offensive word in the English language. Did you get it?

Here’s are some clues:

• It has 4 letters
• It starts with a “C”
• It ends with a “T”

Yep. You guessed it.

The most offensive word in the English language is… CAN’T!

That’s right. Can’t.

You see, the word “can’t” is an excuse. A cover-up for fear. A veil for self-imposed restriction or limitation.

Think about it: Have you ever been in a meeting where someone asks the question, “Why can’t we…” only to be followed by the 10,000 reasons everyone else in the room comes up with for why it “can’t” be done? Of course you have.

The very use of the word “can’t” triggers our brains to come up with an excuse, a limitation, an out.

Simply changing the words we use when we speak can have an incredible impact on how we live our lives, on the success and happiness we reap.

Let’s go back to our meeting from the example above. What happens if we flip “Why can’t we…” on its head? Instead, imagine the same meeting, but this time someone asks, “How CAN we…”

There is an immediate shift in the energy in the room and the thought patterns of everyone in it.

The room is now filled with people focused on creating solutions, dreaming up possibilities rather than restrictions, obstacles and excuses.

In a previous post, I referenced a maxim that my 7th grade history teacher passed on to me.

It’s as profound as it is simple: CAN’T means WON’T.

Think about that statement for a moment, and think about how many times a day you say, “I can’t.” Now, think about how many times you’re really trying to say, “I won’t.”

Everything is a choice. The word “can’t” simply represents your choice not to try, not to do. It’s a choice to put up walls, to limit yourself, to maintain the status quo (even if you loathe your current situation).

In what areas of your life or business do you find yourself continually saying “I can’t” and choosing defeat over growth and achievement? What can you do to eliminate “the most offensive word in the English language” from your vocabulary?

Hat tip to Jason Moffatt for inspiring the introduction to this post.

We are all creatures of habit. It’s true.

Think back to your days in school. Even if you didn’t have assigned seats, you probably sat in the same seat every time you went to class. Beyond that, you probably had a tendency to always sit in the front, back, near the isle, etc.

Think about your typical day.

You probably wake up at close to the same time every day, have a certain order in which you do things when getting ready in the morning (shower, shave, brush your teeth, get dressed…), and take the same route to work every day.

If you work at an office, you probably even notice the habits of your co-workers; Janice always walks in the door between 8:15 and 8:20 every morning. Jerry drinks Mountain Dew like his life depends on it. Paul uses air quotes during his presentations to the point that people wonder if he’s developing a new corporate workout program called, “Air Quote Your Way to a Smaller Waist.”

You know what I mean. We all have habits. The problem is, we don’t think about our habits and their impact on our lives. But…

Your current habits are the #1 reason for your success or failure in life.

The most successful people you know are successful because they train themselves to develop “good habits,” habits that will force them to move forward, develop and grow, to do the things that, if not habituated, would go undone.

You want to do more, be more, achieve more. But, you always feel stuck. You  never seem to get ahead.

Step back and evaluate your habits. You’ll be surprised by how many “habits” you have that are preventing you from getting what you want. Here are some common examples.

• Poorly managing your time and/or the prioritization of tasks (TV, video games, “piddly” tasks over high-value, high return tasks)
• Saying “yes” too much (taking on more than you can handle)
• Not getting enough sleep
• Not eating right
• Striving for perfection over completion (see also: The Myth of the Perfect Writing Environment by Chris Brogan)
• Failing to continuously listen, study, and learn
• Assigning blame
• Self-limiting thoughts and affirmations
• Creating excuses/alibis

Do you agree? Are your habits preventing you from achieving your dreams? What habits do you have that you need to change? Which ones have helped you most?

Most of us - probably all of us - have a desire to live a life that “matters,” a life of significance. What that means varies by person, but there is an innate calling in each of us, a little voice that stirs inside and prompts us to “do something significant.”

Sadly, however, most of us manage to talk ourselves out of it. We say things to ourselves like, “Who am I? I’m nobody? Who would listen to me?”

Or, we simply make excuses for why we can’t like “I don’t have enough time, money, celebrity, connections, personality, (fill in the blank) to do anything significant.” Sometimes we even disguise our excuses as “wishes:”

• I wish I had enough money to…
• I wish I was famous, so I could…
• I wish I could…

Why do we do this?

We hear stories about people who have overcome HUGE obstacles to persevere or who have risked life and limb for a cause they believe in. Somehow, we just can’t see ourselves as that person. We feel so… insignificant.

It ultimately boils down to this: We confuse “big” or “newsworthy” or “dangerous” with “significant.”

We somehow believe that if what we do doesn’t warrant an hour-long Dateline special, it isn’t significant. Nothing could be further from the truth. The smallest act, the seemingly most insignificant one you can think of - smiling at someone, for example - could alter the course of a life forever.

In the book Soul Cravings (affiliate link), author Erwin McManus tells the story of Anna, who was ready to call it quits, to take her own life, because she felt so insignificant. It’s clearly the extreme, but it conveys an important message.

She couldn’t think of one more reason to live. In that moment, she decided to call out to God one last time - one of those gauntlets. “If you have anything to say about this, God, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

She didn’t know her cell phone was on. There had been no good reason to take it with her. No one ever called. And suddenly it rang - an unexpected call. Someone needed her, had been looking for her, was wondering where she was, what she was doing. How could she end her life that day? There was something for her to do. Someone needed her. She had a reason to live. It doesn’t take much to keep us wanting to live - just a little hope.

A phone call. It changed Anna’s life forever. It was significant. Incredibly significant. But, I can promise you that the person who placed that call thought absolutely nothing of it.

It reminds me of a quote by Keith Cunningham that I have hanging by my desk.

Ordinary things consistently done produce extraordinary results.

The things you see as “ordinary” - like making a phone call to someone you haven’t spoken to in awhile - could be extraordinarily significant. The magnitude of your significance will be determined by the consistency of your actions.

What “ordinary” or “insignificant” actions will you take today? Do you believe that those acts will ultimately prove to be significant? Why? Why not? As always, I’d love to hear from you.