I noticed this morning that Gary Vaynerchuk (@garyvee) posted a link on Twitter to his first-ever Wine Library TV episode (Feb. 2006). Since he announced his “retirement” earlier this week, I decided to take a quick trip down Memory Lane.

I admit, I got a kick out of it. But, it also struck a chord with me. More on that in a minute.

To be honest, as soon as the video started to play, it triggered something in my brain that recalled the old Highlights Magazine activities I used to do as a kid - which one of these things is not like the other?

Here are the things I noticed immediately:

Episode 1 - February 2006
 

• It’s dark - Hey, it was Episode 1 - no lights yet.
• “Cool camera” from Best Buy - It’s a far cry from the HD digital video we saw in later episodes. Has that VHS warble…
• No fancy intro - No music. No graphics. Just Gary and a little bit of text.
• The walls are bare - No Jets swag, no chalkboard, no nothing.
• Less intimate - Looks like (Chris) Mott was shooting from the back wall of the office. Later episodes were shot tighter on Gary and the wines, making it feel more personal.
• Both sleeves are down - Gary’s known for, among many things, rocking the one-sleeve-up, one-sleeve-down look.
• Lame spit bucket - Gary upgraded to metal in Episode 76, a Jets-themed pail in Episode 136, then alternated a couple others until finally settling in with his cherished Jets helmet.
• A whole lot less “thunder” - Gary is very conservative and almost “corporate” in Episode 1, even introducing himself as “Director of Operations” instead of the now famous “I am your host…”
• He uses “real” flavor descriptions - Gary ultimately moved to more colorful descriptions like “racquetball,” “Big League Chew,” “sweaty sock,” and “sheep butt,” which skyrocketed his “uniqueness quotient.”

Episode 1,000 - March 2011
 

However, the progression from Episode 1 to Episode 1000 serves to illustrate why Gary has been so successful. The way I see it, the five biggest drivers of his success have been:

• Vision - From the very beginning, Gary knew he wanted to “change the wine world.” Though time, technology, tactics, etc. have changed, his vision has not. 
• Tenacity - Also known as “hustle.” Gary works until his “eyes bleed.” He has a tireless work ethic. “It’s not enough. We always want to do more… We’re going to get better. We’re going to keep pushing it.” - Gary in Episode 1.
• Sincerity - Gary genuinely cares about what he does and the people he works with and serves, and it comes across in every interaction (including in person, to which I can personally attest).
• Chops - He knows his stuff… cold.
• Gratitude - At the end of the first episode, Gary ended with the words “Thanks so much.” Nine hundred ninety-nine episodes later, he still signed off with words of sincere gratitude and appreciation: “Thank you forever… I love you.” Heck, he even wrote a book about it - The Thank You Economy (affiliate link).

I firmly believe that the development of these five traits will help anyone who wants to be successful in business - and life - get there. Which ones do you have nailed? Which ones do you need to work on? Are there any I missed?

Most of us have heard the expression, “There’s no ‘I’ in team.”

In other words, if one person tries to focus all the attention on himself, it disrupts the chemistry of the ‘team.’ This self-centered approach often impedes success.

As in sports, the same holds true in business - and in life.

And, it’s not just about putting yourself first in a selfish way. It’s about inserting yourself into the central context of all your daily experiences.

For example, if someone were to be critical of a project you were working on, or the way you run your business, would you instantly become defensive? Or, would you try to take a step back and see if there is something buried inside the criticism that you can use to improve?

When you take things personally, you’re being self-centered. You’re also closing yourself off to finding opportunities to grow and improve. 

There is only a one letter difference between “bitter” and “better.” Not coincidentally, the letter “I” is what separates the two.

So, the next time someone decides to criticize - use it as an opportunity to get BETTER instead of BITTER.

Think of the most offensive word in the English language. Did you get it?

Here’s are some clues:

• It has 4 letters
• It starts with a “C”
• It ends with a “T”

Yep. You guessed it.

The most offensive word in the English language is… CAN’T!

That’s right. Can’t.

You see, the word “can’t” is an excuse. A cover-up for fear. A veil for self-imposed restriction or limitation.

Think about it: Have you ever been in a meeting where someone asks the question, “Why can’t we…” only to be followed by the 10,000 reasons everyone else in the room comes up with for why it “can’t” be done? Of course you have.

The very use of the word “can’t” triggers our brains to come up with an excuse, a limitation, an out.

Simply changing the words we use when we speak can have an incredible impact on how we live our lives, on the success and happiness we reap.

Let’s go back to our meeting from the example above. What happens if we flip “Why can’t we…” on its head? Instead, imagine the same meeting, but this time someone asks, “How CAN we…”

There is an immediate shift in the energy in the room and the thought patterns of everyone in it.

The room is now filled with people focused on creating solutions, dreaming up possibilities rather than restrictions, obstacles and excuses.

In a previous post, I referenced a maxim that my 7th grade history teacher passed on to me.

It’s as profound as it is simple: CAN’T means WON’T.

Think about that statement for a moment, and think about how many times a day you say, “I can’t.” Now, think about how many times you’re really trying to say, “I won’t.”

Everything is a choice. The word “can’t” simply represents your choice not to try, not to do. It’s a choice to put up walls, to limit yourself, to maintain the status quo (even if you loathe your current situation).

In what areas of your life or business do you find yourself continually saying “I can’t” and choosing defeat over growth and achievement? What can you do to eliminate “the most offensive word in the English language” from your vocabulary?

Hat tip to Jason Moffatt for inspiring the introduction to this post.

We are all creatures of habit. It’s true.

Think back to your days in school. Even if you didn’t have assigned seats, you probably sat in the same seat every time you went to class. Beyond that, you probably had a tendency to always sit in the front, back, near the isle, etc.

Think about your typical day.

You probably wake up at close to the same time every day, have a certain order in which you do things when getting ready in the morning (shower, shave, brush your teeth, get dressed…), and take the same route to work every day.

If you work at an office, you probably even notice the habits of your co-workers; Janice always walks in the door between 8:15 and 8:20 every morning. Jerry drinks Mountain Dew like his life depends on it. Paul uses air quotes during his presentations to the point that people wonder if he’s developing a new corporate workout program called, “Air Quote Your Way to a Smaller Waist.”

You know what I mean. We all have habits. The problem is, we don’t think about our habits and their impact on our lives. But…

Your current habits are the #1 reason for your success or failure in life.

The most successful people you know are successful because they train themselves to develop “good habits,” habits that will force them to move forward, develop and grow, to do the things that, if not habituated, would go undone.

You want to do more, be more, achieve more. But, you always feel stuck. You  never seem to get ahead.

Step back and evaluate your habits. You’ll be surprised by how many “habits” you have that are preventing you from getting what you want. Here are some common examples.

• Poorly managing your time and/or the prioritization of tasks (TV, video games, “piddly” tasks over high-value, high return tasks)
• Saying “yes” too much (taking on more than you can handle)
• Not getting enough sleep
• Not eating right
• Striving for perfection over completion (see also: The Myth of the Perfect Writing Environment by Chris Brogan)
• Failing to continuously listen, study, and learn
• Assigning blame
• Self-limiting thoughts and affirmations
• Creating excuses/alibis

Do you agree? Are your habits preventing you from achieving your dreams? What habits do you have that you need to change? Which ones have helped you most?

I sat down for coffee with a mentor of mine the other morning to seek advice and insight about a situation that’s been challenging me for a while.

I really enjoyed our time together, and our conversation certainly provided food for thought, and gave me some clarity about what to do next. I felt really good. I was ready to take action.

Our meeting got me to thinking about mentoring relationships, their importance to personal and professional growth, and specifically, what makes these relationships thrive. Clearly a great (and willing) mentor is critical, but the mentee makes all the difference.

I came up with Three Keys To Being A Great Mentee:

1. Respect - Mentors, by definition, are established in their careers and have high demands on their time. Therefore, you must be considerate of their time. Return phone calls and emails promptly. When setting meetings, arrive early and stop immediately after the allotted time is up. Let your mentor suggest extending the meeting.
2. Listen, listen, listen - Remember that when you meet with your mentor, you are there to learn. The only way to learn is to listen. Listen to your mentor, take diligent notes, ask clarifying questions, and listen some more.
3. Act - Once you’ve received advice and counsel from your mentor, it is imperative that you act on his/her suggestions. If you are unable to implement them, let your mentor know why (during your next conversation), but do not ignore them. No mentor will continue to offer advice that falls on deaf ears and is not acted upon or, at the very least, considerately acknowledged; it’s a waste of everyone’s time. Moreover, share your successes with your mentor - press/media coverage, milestones achieved, awards received. Much of the reward for a mentor is seeing your mentee succeed as a result of your counsel.

What did I miss? Have you had successful mentoring relationships? To what do you attribute that success? Or, if you’ve had one that failed, why? Let me know.