Over the past few years, I’ve observed something happening pretty consistently - particularly among females - that is both fascinating and disheartening.
But, before I get to that, I want to be sure I clarify this post a little. It is NOT a rant against women; it is an observational piece that highlights a tendency I have witnessed, which happens to be particularly evident among females.
Also, there have been numerous studies and news stories documenting the likeness of human social interaction with that of wolves. In fact, groups like Living With the Wolves have been at the center of much of this research. So, there is nothing inherently “new” about likening the behavior of humans to that of wolves. I am simply calling attention to one aspect.
More and more, I began noticing women forming “packs” - not unlike wolves - seemingly as a way to form micro-communities where each member feels accepted, protected. The problem (as I see it) is, the similarity of these human packs to those of wolves don’t end there.
I did a little research and here’s what I found:
Wolves are an extremely social animal. They exist as a social unit called a pack.
No surprise there.
Wolves travel and hunt in a group and perform almost all other activities in the company of fellow wolves.
We’ve all noticed that this includes, among other things, using the restroom in pairs.
Pack sizes vary, most packs have 6 or 7 members, although some may include as many as 15 wolves. The size depends on many variables including the current numbers of the wolf population, the abundance of food, and social factors within the wolf pack.
Now we’re getting somewhere.
Individual wolves in a pack play different roles in relation to the others in the group. There is an alpha pair - the leaders of the pack. The other pack members respect their positions and follow their leadership in almost all things. The alpha wolves are usually the ones to make decisions for the pack when the group should go out to hunt or move from one place to another.
And, here is where it starts to get interesting. My observations show that this social dynamic in the wolf pack is very much alive and well in their human equivalents.
There are always one or two “alpha” females in the pack who make sure the other members of the pack know who is in charge and who calls the shots. Look around you. You’ll see it. It’s not hard to spot.
Remember the alpha wolves decide “when the group should go out to hunt.” In the wild, this is straightforward - the wolves hunt for food, for physical survival.
In the human “pack,” the “wolves” hunt their prey to try assert their dominance (more accurately, their self-perceived dominance) over those they see as threats or in many cases, just easy targets. They hunt for their for social survival.
Don’t believe me?
Wolves are social predators… they hunt by wearing down [their prey] in short chases.
This is perhaps the most telling statement and most compelling correlation between the wild wolf and her human counterpart.
I have seen, time and again, these human wolves “hunting” their prey with unwavering determination. The social landscape (especially with the proliferation of social media/networks) provides the perfect environment for them to hunt their prey, to attack them in calculated but consistent short bursts - as a pack. Their pursuit is often relentless and highly tactical.
The irony is the fact that while there is a sense of protection and security within the pack, just like real wolves, within each pack is an elaborate hierarchy, where some of them may be “able to ‘boss around,’ or dominate, their sisters… because they have established themselves as superior in some way. This superiority… can be based on personality.”
That’s right, the pack can turn on their own in a heartbeat.
While similarities abound, there is one significant difference I have found between the two. It is this:
Wolves do not pretend to be anything but a wolf; whereas, the human “wolf” is often dressed in sheep’s clothing.
To most onlookers, the human “wolf” appears to be anything but a wolf. In fact, the most dominant members in a pack are often individuals who most would consider standout members of their churches and communities. They’re seen as charismatic, perhaps even as leaders.
That’s the entire mirage, right there. By wearing their sheepskin, it makes it more difficult for others (see also, prey) to see them for what they really are - wolves. It makes their hunting style very stealthy because most people “can’t see it.”
Picture the wolf in sheep’s clothing. The outside - the sheep - is passive. The underlying core - the wolf - is highly aggressive. Coincidence? No. That’s why passive-aggressive behavior is a hallmark of the pack and it’s hunting methods.
Jay Baer (of Convince and Convert fame) made this observation:
It’s sad to me that we haven’t evolved enough to put away our claws and stop being so doggone paranoid, insecure and territorial. It’s sad that fear drives behavior instead of love.
If you read this and felt threatened in some way, take off your sheepskin and look yourself in the mirror. Own what you really are - a wolf. A bully.
If you read this and felt uneasy or sad, you’ve probably been preyed upon by the pack. Hold your head up and be strong. Pretty soon, people will figure out who the wolves are and expose them. You will have your day in the sun.
So, what do you think? Am I wrong in my comparison? What has your experience/observation been? How can we deepen our relationships to the point that intimidation and abjection give way to appreciation and kindness?
Quoted Sources:
http://www.wolfweb.com/facts-pack.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolves
For those appreciating the Duran Duran reference:
